Monday, June 18, 2012

Avengers, A Continuing Character Study

When we last left the Storyteller, he was elaborating on the marvelous and magical entities in Joss Whedon's blockbuster flick, The Avengers. Now, he wishes to continue down the Avengers' yellow brick road and build upon another ensemble of the film's core key characters. Will he succeed in tackling these superhero celebrities or will he fall prey to Loki's cosmic ray of doom?

Let's find out......RIGHT NOW

Loki


A calculating trickster with a ridiculous helmet

An inhuman made to look human

He struggles to conquer a land far from his own

And come to truce with his mighty sibling

He will not throw in the towel nor will he let go of his enchanted staff

He has enchanted abilities like no other eminent god

And he has a alien armada, the Chitauri, to fall to his feet and obey nefarious commands

But he craves more, much more, more than meets a regular human eyeball

He will drag the whole universe down if he wishes

And he could even end the life of the one he once called brother

He's no Joker, but he sure plays games that could force others to the tombstones

Loki, you just don't want to crumble this cookie. He's fun loving and curious, but in a "bad-guyish" sort of way, and he thinks himself so mighty that he shrouds his head in a golden helmet equipped with long horns, horns as long as elephant trunks. He's got scheming eyes, a devilish smile, and a thirst for Avengers blood, but only the Hulk knows how to swiftly take out this meany



Black Widow



This red head is slick, swift and sassy

Even if she lacks the russian accent, she still pays the parking ticket

She's got moves that would make Spider-Man cry home to Aunt May

But she has a retched, horrid origin that she wishes not to speak of

It haunts her even when the villains taunt her about it

Nevertheless, she is an expert in making a pistol a pivotal tool in kicking Chitauri rump

And she has a way of using a chair to stomp the toes of nasty russian hostage holders

She loves mashing in the skulls of those who get in her path

And she performs it all in a smooth, black uniform in the heart of all S.H.I.E.L.D agents

She takes poop poop from nobody, not even the armored, patriotic, green skinned allies she fights aside of

Black Widow, just as a girl crime fighter should behave. She has more spunk than your average S.H.I.E.L.D. associates and she turns any household item into a weapon that makes baddies look like three year olds in diapers. She has methods with the guys and has quite a thing going on with our next Avenger hero.....

Hawkeye



He's a blend between Legolus and Catniss Everdeen

Only he's not always a sweetie pie in the eyes of others

He's put under Loki's cosmic mind control spell

And forced to do mean, nasty, scummy, terrible, monstrous things

But he comes out of the trance like a rabbit in a rabbit hole

And he puts that bow and arrow to Chitauri tackling use

He glides from building to building and even climbs one or two with a swift hand

But he shoots arrows at villainous vermin

And when the day subsides, he chows down on delicious, mouth watering, delectable schwarma...whatever that is

Hawkeye, he's got sunglasses and a bow, and that alone makes him stick out like a stormtrooper at a Star Trek convention. He's got that smirk only Jeremy Renner could present and when he aims that arrow at enemy faces, they know of his threat and they know he is someone they don't want to play ball with. He's got vision like a soaring bird and reflexes like butter, and he's proud of the intense life he leads.

Nick Fury



He's Mace Windu with an eyepatch, and the mind behind S.H.I.E.L.D.'s collective operations

He's not afraid to SPEW HIS MIND, and he gets fire red when a plan goes down the crapper

He's got collections of weaponry, and a ship you can ride on both sky and water

But he's not taking doodoo from anyone, not even Loki and his Chitauri loving obscenity

And he forces those reluctant Avengers to band together like a rubber band ball

This eventually leads them down a road of gold, and he is overjoyed to have pushed them to the outer boundaries

He needs them to defend Earth and spare it's soil so the humans can live casually

And with high tech everything and a bit of Sameul L. Jackson's dynamism, he can get the barriers set straight and make you wish you were a chicken. You don't want to step upon this guy's already dirty shoes.

He might break you like decaying wood

Nick Fury, someone with extreme and infinite edge. He symbolizes a crumbling, disintegrating Earth that is willing to jump back on the trampoline and make a mark against the tyranny of outsiders. His organization makes the U.S. government look like a kindergarten tea party and there is no doubt all that computerized tech costed a ginormous penny, a penny the size of Hong Kong!

And now, some more minor characters that deserve spotlight

Agent Coulson



He's awesome and jammed packed with woop-butt at the same time

I always imagined him becoming the Human Torch or something like that

Maria Hill



She's always got a stern look on her pretty little face

But I guess she wants to get down to business

The World Security Council



Just a bunch of shadowy people with big voices

The Other







He really needs some facial cream!


Thanos



He sure knows how to give a smile to the camera!

In a nutshell, the Avengers was as fun as a bowl of ice cream. It's chalked with iconic characters and settings no superhero flick should do without. I would even go as far to say that it's the...

BEST SUPERHERO FILM I EVER PAYED $7.50 T0 SEE!

It's everything I ever wanted in a film, especially a superhero film and whatever unfolds next in the Marvel Movie Universe, which is going down as one of the best franchises in history, there is no doubt in my pink brain that it will be served good and hot!

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

and go make me a sandwich








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